Jon Jorgenson | – Ask Anima: How Do You Forgive Someone Who Has Repeatedly Hurt You? – Jon Jorgenson

A quick note about this video. We are well aware of the verses in Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Hebrews where The Lord says, “I will remember their sins no more.” This video does not seek to contradict those verses. We would never mean to suggest that God holds onto our sins. The Bible makes it clear that He separates us as far as the east is from the west. What these verses mean to me(Jon) is that God makes the active choice to put those sins out of mind. He does not swell on them or revisit them. He does not allow them to hurt Him, or our relationship to Him anymore. Some might call this “forgetting.” The only reason I hesitate to is because to say that God forgot something would be to suggest that He doesn’t know something. This, I fear, would sound like a doubting of God’s omnipotence. To be clear, God does forgive us of our sins and separates us from them. I believe that rather than “forgetting,” God chooses not to remember. If He forgot, what would be left to forgive. He is aware of our sins, but chooses to remember them no more. This is true forgiveness. I wish I could have made this clear in the video, but I am not the most eloquent speaker. My apologies.

-jon

This has been a question we’ve heard several times since we first began and we felt this would be a great question for us to answer! Forgiveness is hard but it’s not impossible!

Always feel free to ask more questions using #askanima, message us on Facebook, or email us at [email protected][support us]

Speaker: Jon Jorgenson
Filming/Editing: Danny Hochstatter
Music: Danny Hochstatter
Special Thanks: DJ Ulbert, Mary Taylor, Dave Hunter, and Greenroom Productions

About The Author

JonJorgenson Jon Jorgenson is an author, speaker, and spoken word poet whose YouTube videos have been viewed by more than 15 million people. Jon partners with numerous organizations including Awana International, Moody Bible Institute, the Willow Creek Association, and hundreds of other churches, colleges, and conferences all over the globe. His spoken word poetry provides a dynamic and creative experience that captures the imagination of audiences everywhere. As a former Broadway actor, Chicago native, and very lucky husband, Jon hopes to provide a fresh, unique voice to some of life’s most difficult and challenging questions. JonJorgenson

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Comment (43)

  1. #askanima my question is this I know I haven't just been called I've been chosen however I can't seem to find where God wants me. Where can he use me? How do you find your calling? I know I have burdens and talents and in use them for his kingdom but yet I feel something deeper.

  2. I have a question.
    Forgive, but don't forget.
    So is it okay if you start to push people out of your life? People that do the same things to you over and over, thereby causing you to build a wall around your heart, one of bitter and hate? And the same from you to them? You also make them unhappy? Is it okay then to push them out of your life and not have anything to do with them any longer? Or should you try to repair the friendship but be more cautious the next time?

  3. That is excatlly what we should do. I got hurted many times, twice it was terribly painful, but I forgive them. Who am I to judge them? Our God will, and I will let their evil to be judged by Him. He will chose what to do with them. I forgive, but will never forget, AND i FEEL HAPPY.

  4. #askanima
    In the video about forgiveness, you said that, once we forgive the relationship should not go back to how it was!

    But that isn't how God forgives us! He doesn't say that we aren't his sons anymore! We can go back to him even after sinning against him. He will still consider us his sons and forgive us!

  5. Hi Jon, on your point of saying you forgive someone but can't be around that person anymore, what if there has been a complete change in the person's behaviour towards you? What if that person has looked within himself and has chosen to do right by you, even before the situation got bad? We all make bad choices, but don't you think if there is a change forgiveness can be given and the relationship be brought forward to be something even greater? Please respond.

  6. Sometimes the Devil sends his demons to come and attack me and with that my life falls apart. I'm stressing about school, homework, family, and I feel as if I don't want to attend church. but watching some of your videos helped me with "FEAR". FEAR that the world will end. FEAR of the dark and thing lurking in the darkness. FEAR that this war really exist and with that I WON'T LET THE DEVIL GET TO ME NO MORE!!!! I will fight till my FATHER JESUS CHRIST comes to take me HOME

  7. I remember one time my pastor spoke about this and he told me a a story about a brother in our church:
    his brother was an alcoholic and he always visited drunk, the brother forgave him many times and he said sorry but always came back drunk at night to visit or something like that? one day he told his brother,

    "i forgive you again. but don't come here drunk again, i wont allow you to come in and see the family and ill leave you locked outside"

    The brother was hurt but since then he changed he stopped going drunk, sure he kept his bad habit(all though idk his current status) but he manage to solve this in a very Christ centered way.

    what i manage to get out of this story is that sometimes you must set boundaries in some cases, and all though it hurts to show tough love, sometimes we just need it.

  8. A few times my mum said that I`m the reason that she has a terrible life and she makes me feel like that everything I do is wrong. That I`m not good enough. It affects me every day and I don`t know how to deal with that. I try to forgive her and I don`t talk about it and try to be normal. But it hurts and it doesn`t feel like that she loves me

  9. totally agree with you, it was super hard for me when people kept judging me as bitter for not rebuilding the relationship with the person who had hurt me, when they didnt know how i was crying with God in my prayer claimed that i forgave him on my lips with my heart squeezing at the same time

  10. I was searching for 'hate and forgiveness'. this video was the most helpful in the whole row! that sounds creepy, but I have been on a musical last week and at the end the pastor asked into the room of around 1000 people if there was a message for us. the first thing he put into the room was 'forgiveness' and I knew that this word was meant to hit me. so I talked to God and I decided to forgive in 2016 (some hours left, yey) to my parents. it's a very hard chapter and I did a little vid (it's in my profile) for those who are in interest. anyways. I think after I forgive, I will still live in hate and can't let go of the most stuff. if I still hate after I have forgiven them, is something wrong with me or do I have to forgive over and over again? #askanima

  11. Have you ever come across someone that you have talked to and your enemies seem to connect with you and meet up with you in the end maybe this could be a good thing maybe the enemy that I've been praying for maybe he will give his life to God and maybe just maybe my answers and my prayers will come true I know I belong to God because I almost died because of this individual It's a Small World God is real

  12. I will never be perfect I know myself I have hurt people that I love and I have paid the price for that and still am kinda in a way but I know God loves me and I know he loves my family and he loves my friends and he loves my brothers and sisters in Christ and he loves my enemies I am not perfect I wish I was but I am not but I know that I am true to my heart and most of all to my soul. People individuals look at me and they look at the outer part of me and they don't see which true with inside of my soul and then they realize hey wow I was wrong ya dead wrong cuz I'm nothing like you think.!

  13. Thank you for making this video. I know I'm a little late to the game, but that (and talking to a priest) really helped me. I was struggling to forgive this one guy for about a year… I haven't spoken to him in about a year and a half, but I finally forgave him. I just had to cut him out of my life, to protect myself and my own morals.

  14. We may forgive one another if we so choose, but I don’t believe God is as lenient on forgiveness as most of us would think he is or else God would not have written in stone The Ten Commendments for everyone to follow. Not sure if this would do anything, but I think when we decide to forgive anyone, we should pray to God and ask that he too should forgive them. I’ve seen with my own eyes God’s wrath or punishment onto those who have hurt me and I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness for them even though they deserved some sort of punishment…

  15. How to forgive someone that hurt you but you also caused the pain yourself. How do you forgive them and still have them in your life . I tend to forgive but kick people out when it's not necessary because they still try to be in my life and I'm just super strict because I'm afraid to get hurt . In my past I forgave so much to the wrong persons and if that still affecting me now it will affect me with anyone in my relashioships. I can't sleep because I have anxiety and worry about keeping my boyfriend in my life , from the start he's never really done anything wrong and I just never let him in because I'm afraid to get hurt. I know he's not the same person but we've had little cracks because of me , and we already talked everything out but yet I can't sleep at night because I worry that if I keep him in my life it's not going to be right for me. I pray to God there's sometimes where I'm like ok for a moment and then it comes back , the overthinkjng. It's really affecting my life. I can't get any rest because of my past hurt,bringing it to others. I realised that's it's ok to forgive those that hurt you and leave them but why do I do that to everyone, I have done it to my family, that's I just like to kick them out when they hurt me. I already forgave them ,and thank God for that. I just don't want to run away just because I'm afraid to get hurt, someone please help me forgive and still keep that person in my life .

  16. I prayed to Jesus every day for a forgiving, kind heart, a heart like Jesus. And I still do at times. The not forgetting part is a fine line between trusting & knowing where your guard is with that person. Forgive us our (sins) as we forgive those who trespass (sin) against us. I wish I could agree on not forgetting. But I don't agree. The(not forgetting) part feels like I'm dragging a ball and chain. Sometimes the not forgetting takes weeks, months to go away. But it will if you ask in prayer. I'm not sure if you forgive someone but you don't forget, is that total forgiveness? I'm really not sure Jon. I love your YouTubes your energy and spunk for Jesus Christ.

  17. I love this video, and what you have to say about forgiveness, but what do you do when someome continually hurts you, but you can't say "Let's go our seperate ways"? What do you do when, for whatever reason, you're stuck with someone who keeps hurting you, even when you confront them and ask them to treat you right?

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